"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" Kate Moss said that a few years ago. That little quote has become the mantra of many self loathing (and oft hungry ladies) in the world. It's really sad to think that someone is so afraid of gaining a pound that they would never eat anything. To that I say, "Life is delicious, have a slice".
I am by nature a woman of size. I am full figured and quite voluptuous. Voluptuous by definition is luxurious, pleasing to the senses, sensual delight, in a nutshell a woman. I have always been larger than life, never having been on the smaller side I never knew what it was like and therefore don't really care. I'm not going to lie and say I've never wished I could pull off a cute bikini or a halter dress without looking pregnant. But I simply love flavor and hate exercise. But that's okay, because all in all I'm comfortable in my own skin. I love the beach and go at least every other year if not every year. It doesn't bother me to see the teensy weensy waifs in their little polka dot bikinis because that's who they are. I can appreciate all their hard work in the gym. Someone's gotta do it right?
What gets me is that I know so many amazing women that pick on themselves. I have a rather colorful group of friends, some larger and some smaller than me. And they almost always have something to pick at about their bodies or faces or hair or knees or some other physical attribute that seems just fine to me. Why do women do this to themselves? I can't completely blame the media, self loathing has been around long before Cosmo and Vogue. One of my closest friends has an amazing head of hair, her most beautiful feature is exactly what she's hated on for all the years I've known her. Only now in her 30's has she finally embraced her mane. Is it her age? Is it that she finally believes all the compliments she's given on nearly a daily basis? All I know is it's about time!
More and more women are becoming empowered in the work place, in relationships, even in the bedroom. But what about in the mirror? So few women really love the way they look, and most of them aren't close to my size. Here's a little conceited moment for me, I LOVE the way I look. I do want to lose weight and I'm sure I'll be logging my journey here, but I love the fact that I'm well proportioned and have a butt that would make the Kardashians blush. I also love my eyes and skin. For a while I wished I was darker like my mother and sister, but I realized that wishing for something I can't change was pointless, so I learned to embrace it. I have a khaki skin tone with dark hair that makes my eyes pop, what's not to love?
I always try to compliment my friends with honesty. I don't pacify any of my girls because they deserve to know the truth. No, you may not be able to pull off that polka dot bikini but a flair skirt and sandals would show off a great waist line. I'm not afraid to go around without makeup because Mom always told me, "Makeup is to enhance your features and beauty, too much and you'll cover it all up". And I'm very grateful to her for teaching me that. I wish women as a sex were as confident in their beauty as they are in other areas. Women need to stop picking at what's wrong and start focusing on what's right!
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, except for cheesecake and cafe con leche late in the day, or a sand gritted sandwich and an ice cold beer on the beach, or a margarita with the girls. Food may not be what makes people happy, but it's a big part of our lives. It's okay to indulge or (gasp) eat something along with your salad. Starving yourself may give you the figure you want but will you really feel how you want?
I also have very small friends that wish they were more plump. I really feel for them because I can lose weight if I so choose, they cannot simply eat more and go up a cup size. They too are only now embracing how they look and realizing that being a size 0 does not mean they look like a twelve year old boy. They are feminine and soft just like their full figured counter parts. Acceptance and confidence does not depend on your dress size but on your ability to love yourself. My greatest insecurities are because of my undeveloped talents or lack of education, but I can change those things. I have never hated the way I looked because I know that I am beautiful to those that love me, not to mention a few appreciative passersby.
Not every man is going to find every woman attractive. Some men like small women, some men like athletic women, some men like curvy but small waisted women. Men and women alike have many different preferences and tastes, it's okay if some men don't find me attractive, I already have one. I'll admit that when I get asked for my name I enjoy the ego boost, but that's all it is, nothing in my life changes. It isn't like a man whistles as me and all of a sudden I'm a genius or a world class baton twirler or something crazy like that. And women need to stop trying to be what every man wants. That's a game that has no winners.
If Angelina Jolie were a customer service rep instead of an actress, admittedly she'd be one hot CSR, but she'd be considered a hot mess. And after making a reputation for herself she'd have a hard time finding dates. And while Brad Pitt is easy on the eyes, he's not this amazing Adonis of a man, he's just a man. Women really need to understand that women are beautiful by nature and if they just embrace their beauty it will make them all the more beautiful.
Embrace your hair, hands, ankles, waist, bust, butt, and whatever other weird hang ups you have. I have, and it's freeing to know that while Brad Pitt may not look in my direction, I am, and I love what I see, chubby cheeks (both sets) and all.