Many years ago, I was in a Goodwill, just killing some time. Upon entering the store, an item immediately caught my eye. Hanging on a coat rack was a bright yellow jacket with a nautical navy blue lining. It was in pristine condition. The many customers milling about didn't even look at the jacket, they all walked right past it in search of other bargains. I made my way to the coat rack concealing my excitement because I knew I stumbled upon something special. I took the jacket off of the rack and found out I was right. It was indeed a special find. In my hands was a brand new, seemingly never worn, Saks Fifth Avenue nautical jacket. At the time it would have retailed for about $250-$400. The Goodwill price was $12.99. Not a single person in that store knew what it was actually worth and therefore priced it at less than 5% of it's actual value and then left it on the rack to be ignored. Of course I bought it. I wondered to myself, "How long has this been just hanging there?" Where did it come from and how had it found its way to this little town whose only big news in months was when the opening of a Ruby Tuesday's made the front page of the local newspaper? I think about that jacket a lot. It reminds me of me. I am out of place and priced 95% below my actual value. And I'm just hanging on the rack. Passersby may think my colors are too bright or my fabric is all wrong. So I quietly hang here until it's my time to be plucked by an opportunity that sees that I simply don't belong here. More and more lately I ask myself how much longer am I supposed to wait? And unlike a jacket, Saks or not, I have legs and can move and I have a voice and can raise it. But where am I to go and who am I to call out to? This is the problem with being out of place.
I have been in conference rooms and while I struggle as a facilitator, I speak with conviction and can command a room when need be. While some may have been impressed with me, most were not. I was often met with glares and push back. More often than not, those that were at the top of the distribution food chain and my equal peers were the ones that liked working with me. But the glares came from the ones that I had to report to. Jokes at my expense and negative comments were made in mixed company and therefore always found their way to my ears. I know my peers meant well but it bothered me to know that I was still an outsider, even in my own career and with those that should have been considered a team to me. In moments of low esteem I would think of that treasure I found so many years ago and I would tell myself, "Natasha, you're simply in the wrong market. They don't know your value."
Almost any organic life form that is out of its element and proper environment will struggle, fail to thrive, and even die. Unlike a jacket they can't just hang around for too long. Have you ever seen a news story or video on social media about lakes with dangerously low water levels? They often show fish that are dying. They stopped flopping around and just lie in the muddy puddles struggling to take in any bits of water they landed in. They only have the energy to barely survive, that is until they simply cannot survive any longer. Humans are not much different in that regard. If we find ourselves in the wrong environment or even in a toxic one, we are either flopping around wildly or barely surviving. People are deemed unemployable or difficult to work with when in all actuality, they (we) may simply be in the wrong environments and therefore failing to thrive. Looking at the other side, in the right and healthy environment, we thrive and grow and truly live.
The trouble I am having at this very moment is that I know I am out of place. I have felt out of place for most of my life. That is why I hide much of the time. I am finding that failing to thrive for so long has me exhausted of just surviving. I know that I have come a long way. I also know that I have not come this far to only get this far. So where do I go from here? Furthermore, if I knew where to go, how would I even get there? I feel like there is a giant inside of me, a huge spirit just aching to be freed. In one of my many attempts to make some headway I made a list of my gifts, talents, and marketable skills. That list has remained untouched because I don't know where my market is. I know I have done myself a disservice in being dormant for too long. No more hiding. I think it's high time I took myself marketing.
