Today my son did something that made my heart sing, he said "bubbles" (it sounded like "buba"). At the age of 4 he should be saying much more than "bubbles" but with his significant delays it has taken 3 years of therapy to get him to say "bubbles, mom, dad, more, and eat". These few words are great accomplishments for my little guy and I tear up every time he says one of these words because he doesn't use these words everyday. But after the excitement wears off the same question pops into my head...will I ever hear my son speak; really speak? Even though I am assured constantly that he will indeed speak and be able to communicate, I can't help but to get a little anxious to hear him.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) is what my son was diagnosed with. For those who are not familiar with that disorder it's basically a severe developmental delay that is on the Autism Spectrum, but he has no symptoms of other disorders on the spectrum. Just a severe delay. Couple that with a sensory disorder that has him so sensitive to tastes and textures and visual stimuli and you've got my little boy. A sweet little guy that's very loving, doesn't talk, doesn't eat solid foods, and can become over stimulated. Oh, and did I mention he's not potty trained and is allergic to all nuts and dairy? He's not lactose sensitive or intolerant, he's allergic. If he even touches dairy he breaks out into hives and sometimes throws up. Add all that together and what you've got is a very hopeful, very overwhelmed, very tired mother.
I love my son with everything in me, but I admit that his disorders are getting to me. I want so much for him, I want to see him gobble up a plate of food, I want him to be able to enjoy trying new flavors and textures. I'm waiting anxiously for the day he'll actually have a birthday cake and eat some. My baby boy is 4 and has never had a birthday party because it breaks my heart that he wouldn't have known it was his birthday, let alone eat a piece of cake. And I'll admit that I was also concerned that he'd get overwhelmed with all the attention and have a meltdown. When we've had a get together at home he has gotten overwhelmed and over stimulated and the only remedy was to put him to bed. He'd prefer to go to bed early than to be amongst all the excitement. Not only was I protecting him from any unnecessary meltdowns, but I was protecting myself from having to watch it helplessly.
What I want most for my boy is to be able to communicate with him. I want to hear his little voice so bad that I've dreamed about it. More than once I woke up crying because in a dream I saw my son eating or heard him talking. The talking dreams are the ones that would haunt me for days. At first I thought the dreams were a sign that he'd speak soon, then as time dragged on and the dreams became more and more frequent, I realized they were actually wishful thinking. I know at some point he'll be talking up a storm and I'd wish for a moment of silence. But until that day comes I will get teary eyed at the sound of "bubbles".
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The Past
If the past is truly gone, why does it sometimes feel like I can reach back and grab it? Why does my past seem so much a part of my present? And why can't I let go? I've been thinking of my past lately, and since I'm only 30, I don't have much past. But it's there. Right behind me. And sometimes I really wish I could go back for a do over. My husband has asked me, "What do you need?" I always give the same reply, "A time machine." Not very mature of me, but I'm stuck in this "If I knew then what I know now" phase and it's driving me crazy.
As I stated in my first entry, I'm not happy. I can't seem to let go of the past in order to work on my present and future. I don't have many personal regrets, but there are events that I wished never took place. Some people say, "I have no regrets because my past is what made me who I am today". What a load of crap. What if you don't like who you are today? Would you still feel that way? I know I don't feel that way. I know in general I'm a nice person, I'm a good mother and a good wife. But what else? I'm hoping to be a cashier like it's the only thing I can ever accomplish in life. And don't start on that, "you've got the hardest job" nonsense. Parenting is not easy by any means, but for me it's also not enough. I feel like my brain is wasting away. Everyone's time is worth something and mine is worth what exactly?
I heard of this online calculator that sums up the estimated worth of a homemaker. A full time homemaker (if paid) would gross more than a doctor. Was this supposed to make me feel good? All that stupid calculator did was make me feel even more wasted than ever. I'm not simply complaining about not earning a pay check, but not being utilized in any way at all in society. And I'm sorry, volunteering at a retirement home or soup kitchen still wouldn't be enough because it's not what I wanted or want to do.
I am a very creative person. I draw, write, sing, and give great advice. Besides a lullaby and painting tiny toe nails, none of my talents are being used. And since they are not being used, they are not being developed either. When I was younger, I drew every single day, anything and everything. I drew cartoons, comic characters, still life, and abstract. Now, I'm impressed if I can draw a perfect circle. I used to be able to sum up large numbers in my head, and recite poetry on a whim, now I need a calculator to balance my check book and I can't remember my favorite poets names.
You see, my unhappiness doesn't lie in my total life, but within myself. Why did I let myself down? Where did I lose me? Only by examining the past can I figure that out and eventually move on. But upon examination I became fixated on the past. I remember so many things about me that I want back. I'm not trying to recapture my youth or any such nonsense. I just want that fulfillment I was aiming for.
I know that like everyone else in the world I am a work in progress. I must admit though, I am growing more and more impatient with myself. I need to stop looking to the past for answers to my future. They are not there. I also need to stop fixating on what is gone and to accept that some things cannot be changed. I for one can be changed and as I stated, I'm working on that. Sometimes a good complaining helps and that's just what I've done here. This blog has helped me to complain here and there about things and to put things into prospective for myself.
I know I am capable of pretty much anything. The good thing about examining the past is that there are many things that are not gone. For instance, my strength is something that I have regained. Another is my voice. That one took me a while, but with some help from my loved ones, I found it again, and it's beautiful. Not only when I sing (and I can sing) but when I speak my mind. I'm working on drawing again and if I mess up, so what! I can always start over. The past has taught me that no matter what past I have, it is not a indicator of what my future will be necessarily, but a great learning tool. Jeeze! I could be my own shrink!
I am still going to introduce myself to that manager on Saturday. All nasal whistles should be gone by then. I've already rehearsed a speech and I may or may not stick to it. I'll just say what ever feels right. The job I really want is not only so I can earn a paycheck, I want it to be a stepping stone for me. A small step can feel like a leap when you haven't moved at all for many years. And I'm ready to take that step because those baby steps will lead to great leaps. And judging by my past, once I get going, there's no stopping me.
As I stated in my first entry, I'm not happy. I can't seem to let go of the past in order to work on my present and future. I don't have many personal regrets, but there are events that I wished never took place. Some people say, "I have no regrets because my past is what made me who I am today". What a load of crap. What if you don't like who you are today? Would you still feel that way? I know I don't feel that way. I know in general I'm a nice person, I'm a good mother and a good wife. But what else? I'm hoping to be a cashier like it's the only thing I can ever accomplish in life. And don't start on that, "you've got the hardest job" nonsense. Parenting is not easy by any means, but for me it's also not enough. I feel like my brain is wasting away. Everyone's time is worth something and mine is worth what exactly?
I heard of this online calculator that sums up the estimated worth of a homemaker. A full time homemaker (if paid) would gross more than a doctor. Was this supposed to make me feel good? All that stupid calculator did was make me feel even more wasted than ever. I'm not simply complaining about not earning a pay check, but not being utilized in any way at all in society. And I'm sorry, volunteering at a retirement home or soup kitchen still wouldn't be enough because it's not what I wanted or want to do.
I am a very creative person. I draw, write, sing, and give great advice. Besides a lullaby and painting tiny toe nails, none of my talents are being used. And since they are not being used, they are not being developed either. When I was younger, I drew every single day, anything and everything. I drew cartoons, comic characters, still life, and abstract. Now, I'm impressed if I can draw a perfect circle. I used to be able to sum up large numbers in my head, and recite poetry on a whim, now I need a calculator to balance my check book and I can't remember my favorite poets names.
You see, my unhappiness doesn't lie in my total life, but within myself. Why did I let myself down? Where did I lose me? Only by examining the past can I figure that out and eventually move on. But upon examination I became fixated on the past. I remember so many things about me that I want back. I'm not trying to recapture my youth or any such nonsense. I just want that fulfillment I was aiming for.
I know that like everyone else in the world I am a work in progress. I must admit though, I am growing more and more impatient with myself. I need to stop looking to the past for answers to my future. They are not there. I also need to stop fixating on what is gone and to accept that some things cannot be changed. I for one can be changed and as I stated, I'm working on that. Sometimes a good complaining helps and that's just what I've done here. This blog has helped me to complain here and there about things and to put things into prospective for myself.
I know I am capable of pretty much anything. The good thing about examining the past is that there are many things that are not gone. For instance, my strength is something that I have regained. Another is my voice. That one took me a while, but with some help from my loved ones, I found it again, and it's beautiful. Not only when I sing (and I can sing) but when I speak my mind. I'm working on drawing again and if I mess up, so what! I can always start over. The past has taught me that no matter what past I have, it is not a indicator of what my future will be necessarily, but a great learning tool. Jeeze! I could be my own shrink!
I am still going to introduce myself to that manager on Saturday. All nasal whistles should be gone by then. I've already rehearsed a speech and I may or may not stick to it. I'll just say what ever feels right. The job I really want is not only so I can earn a paycheck, I want it to be a stepping stone for me. A small step can feel like a leap when you haven't moved at all for many years. And I'm ready to take that step because those baby steps will lead to great leaps. And judging by my past, once I get going, there's no stopping me.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wal-Mart
I came across a website that shows snaps taken of random freaks at Wal-Mart. After I finished drying my eyes from the tear jerking laughter, I realized that many of the people featured on the site resembled many of the people I pass by at my local WM. I have seen many large people wearing way too small clothing letting it all hang out. I have seen the outdated mullets that never should have been in style to begin with. Let's face it, the only men that could pull off a mullet are 1)Patrick Swayze and 2) Kurt Russell. Unless you are Kurt Russell (May PS rest in peace) go get a haircut NOW! And in my personal opinion, no woman can pull off a mullet, I really wish these ladies would stop trying. I admit I have also been witness to camel toe, nipple flash, talon/claw nails, neon hair, clothes with so many holes in them they are more like holes waiting in a long winding line being separated only by cloth strips.
When I have to run to the store, I make sure to wash my face, make a pony tail, and put on a clean shirt. If I am wearing make up I wash that off because I don't want to appear overdressed for the occasion. That whole "no shirt no shoes no service" spiel is evidently not in effect at Wal-Mart as I have seen many farmer tanned little-uns running around barefoot, and the parents too! Another one I hate is the woman that thinks she can pull off running to the store in her PJs. Not cool! I don't care how youthful you look, unless you are young enough to wear footie pajamas, change your clothes! You are not cute anymore, now you're just sad and weird. When I was a teen pajamas were for bed time not grocery shopping, and chanclas (flip flops) are NOT shoes! Especially in the winter.
My neighbor and I once talked about the people we come across in WM and we had noticed that there was not one person we could relate to in there. If I feel overdressed wearing a little makeup she must feel like a prom queen at a monster truck rally since she's usually in work attire. And I admit of the two of us, I am more plain as I do not usually wear makeup and have a limited wardrobe. But I am a neat person that will not leave the house without taking a shower and putting on some clean clothing. You know, basic hygiene, life lessons that apparently have not been taught in my area since the introduction of Westernized civilization.
To avoid the swarm of "Git R Done" tee shirt wearing mullet heads I usually go shopping late at night or early in the morning. If I must shop during the weekend, I prefer to go to Publix. The higher prices are worth the atmosphere alone. It's so nice to go into a store and see people more like you, people that bathe daily and know that pantyhose are not leggings and therefore cannot be worn alone (Yes, I've seen that too). I suppose I could complain to management but chances are he/she won't really care as the mullet heads are their biggest consumers. I can't blame them though, I shop there for the rock bottom prices on many items including groceries. But at what cost?
I've never been good at conformity, and in the town I live in, I am very grateful for this characteristic. I absolutely refuse to take even less pride in my appearance (Lord! There would be nothing left!) just so I can fit in. I do wish it wouldn't be bad etiquette to point out some of these peoples fashion faux pas though. I can only imagine, "Excuse me ma'am, but I do believe your buttocks is hanging out of your daisy dukes" then to my surprise the "ma'am" would turn out to be a dude. Yes, I've seen that too.
When I have to run to the store, I make sure to wash my face, make a pony tail, and put on a clean shirt. If I am wearing make up I wash that off because I don't want to appear overdressed for the occasion. That whole "no shirt no shoes no service" spiel is evidently not in effect at Wal-Mart as I have seen many farmer tanned little-uns running around barefoot, and the parents too! Another one I hate is the woman that thinks she can pull off running to the store in her PJs. Not cool! I don't care how youthful you look, unless you are young enough to wear footie pajamas, change your clothes! You are not cute anymore, now you're just sad and weird. When I was a teen pajamas were for bed time not grocery shopping, and chanclas (flip flops) are NOT shoes! Especially in the winter.
My neighbor and I once talked about the people we come across in WM and we had noticed that there was not one person we could relate to in there. If I feel overdressed wearing a little makeup she must feel like a prom queen at a monster truck rally since she's usually in work attire. And I admit of the two of us, I am more plain as I do not usually wear makeup and have a limited wardrobe. But I am a neat person that will not leave the house without taking a shower and putting on some clean clothing. You know, basic hygiene, life lessons that apparently have not been taught in my area since the introduction of Westernized civilization.
To avoid the swarm of "Git R Done" tee shirt wearing mullet heads I usually go shopping late at night or early in the morning. If I must shop during the weekend, I prefer to go to Publix. The higher prices are worth the atmosphere alone. It's so nice to go into a store and see people more like you, people that bathe daily and know that pantyhose are not leggings and therefore cannot be worn alone (Yes, I've seen that too). I suppose I could complain to management but chances are he/she won't really care as the mullet heads are their biggest consumers. I can't blame them though, I shop there for the rock bottom prices on many items including groceries. But at what cost?
I've never been good at conformity, and in the town I live in, I am very grateful for this characteristic. I absolutely refuse to take even less pride in my appearance (Lord! There would be nothing left!) just so I can fit in. I do wish it wouldn't be bad etiquette to point out some of these peoples fashion faux pas though. I can only imagine, "Excuse me ma'am, but I do believe your buttocks is hanging out of your daisy dukes" then to my surprise the "ma'am" would turn out to be a dude. Yes, I've seen that too.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Achoo!
This morning I marched into the bathroom, head held high, looked in the mirror and said, "Hi my name is..." and before I could say "Slim Shady" I let out the biggest sneeze and was blindly groping for a tissue to clean up the brain matter that exploded out of my face. Disgusting I know. But it really happened. And I have been bed ridden ever since. None of my sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so I can procrastinate medicines are working. All they do is put me in a semi conscious state. Not bad if wanted to trip all day, but I had plans! The universe has a quirky sense of humor.
The sudden interruption to my immune system is a gift from my little boy that I've been nursing back to health since Thursday. Now I know why he was so miserable, this sucks! I am suffering now because I refuse to take my medicine and go into another coma like state until I type in today's entry. Score one for me against the universe! My little guy is still coughing and sneezing, but no fever, so he should be in the pink by Tuesday, and going by his time, I think I should be back to normal by Friday.
I am disappointed that I was not able to introduce myself to the manager today. But giving my potential employer the flu is not the impression I want to make, and boy oh boy would that make one. I hope I have a speedy recovery since my immune system if fairly strong and I have been eating immunity supporting vitamins like M&Ms. With all the vitamins I'm taking I could fight off malaria and TB. This flu had better be gone no later than Thursday. If I have to, I will sign up for dialysis.
The upside to being sick is I have a reason to lay in bed all day and do nothing. The downside? Well, the downside to being sick is that I'm the kind of person that likes to be lazy on my own accord. I don't like being confined to bed, and I certainly don't like sleeping all day. Why is it that I want to be active when I'm sick, but when I'm fine, I don't want to do anything? When I'm fine, I procrastinate and find reasons not to do things. Now that I've fallen ill (I love saying it like that) I want to get out and seize the day. What the hell is that about anyway?
When I'm sick I want to get a job, go to school, go skiing, go sky diving, and run for president. I think I need to have a low grade fever all the time so I can do something with myself while all my family and friends say, "Wow, she did all that while she's sick. She's amazing!" Maybe I'll go to the communicable diseases ward at the hospital, contract pneumonia, and get that presidency!
The sudden interruption to my immune system is a gift from my little boy that I've been nursing back to health since Thursday. Now I know why he was so miserable, this sucks! I am suffering now because I refuse to take my medicine and go into another coma like state until I type in today's entry. Score one for me against the universe! My little guy is still coughing and sneezing, but no fever, so he should be in the pink by Tuesday, and going by his time, I think I should be back to normal by Friday.
I am disappointed that I was not able to introduce myself to the manager today. But giving my potential employer the flu is not the impression I want to make, and boy oh boy would that make one. I hope I have a speedy recovery since my immune system if fairly strong and I have been eating immunity supporting vitamins like M&Ms. With all the vitamins I'm taking I could fight off malaria and TB. This flu had better be gone no later than Thursday. If I have to, I will sign up for dialysis.
The upside to being sick is I have a reason to lay in bed all day and do nothing. The downside? Well, the downside to being sick is that I'm the kind of person that likes to be lazy on my own accord. I don't like being confined to bed, and I certainly don't like sleeping all day. Why is it that I want to be active when I'm sick, but when I'm fine, I don't want to do anything? When I'm fine, I procrastinate and find reasons not to do things. Now that I've fallen ill (I love saying it like that) I want to get out and seize the day. What the hell is that about anyway?
When I'm sick I want to get a job, go to school, go skiing, go sky diving, and run for president. I think I need to have a low grade fever all the time so I can do something with myself while all my family and friends say, "Wow, she did all that while she's sick. She's amazing!" Maybe I'll go to the communicable diseases ward at the hospital, contract pneumonia, and get that presidency!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Job
I did it! I applied to a PT job. It's a cashier job at a cosmetics retailer, it may not be a major career path but it would give me a great discount. If I get the job I'll have to try real hard not to spend an entire paycheck before it's earned. I REALLY want this job. The hours would be few and the pay would be modest, but the chance to interact with other adults would be great. And did I mention I'd get a discount? I'd work for the mascara alone.
I was going to go in today and introduce myself to the manager so she could put a face with the name on the online application. But then I chickened out. I realized I was afraid to talk to someone about a job that I'm over qualified for. What the??? Too many times over the last few years I have gone to apply for work, only to be told very abruptly to "Go online!" So online I'd go, and then nothing. So, I asked a few people exactly how they scored the ever elusive bagging job at the grocery store, they'd all said the same thing, "Go online! Then come in and introduce yourself." So that's exactly what I decided to do this time, only this time, I was discouraged before even trying. Why you ask? Well it's simple really, I am quite terrified that if I try to be a good candidate for the job and get my hopes up only to not get the job it would crush me. It would crush me because it would say to me, "You aren't even worth minimum wage". And the idea of losing it over something I wouldn't want to do for the rest of my life seems like a waste of effort. I want to save that emotional roller coaster and blow to my self esteem for when I'm rejected by a sorority at the community college I'll no doubt go to in my 40's.
My girlfriend and I spoke about my fears today when she confronted me about chickening out. She knows me too well. She helped me to realize that not only am I an excellent candidate, but that rejection wouldn't kill me. My friend and I talked about the 8 year gap on my resume and she reminded me that I may have not been employed in all these years, but I have been quite busy. She pointed out that I can use my experiences in life as examples in an interview and as tools for the job. After talking with her I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time, I made a face. I put my chin up, my shoulders back (checked out my boobs) and tried my best to look positive and assertive. I admit that I looked more like a cougar on the prowl, but hey, those ladies have some cojones. I told myself, "You can do this." And for the first time in a long time I believed it.
The good news is that without fail, I'm going tomorrow to present my resume and really sell myself. I'm going to do my hair, put on some makeup, spritz some SJP Lovely on my wrists, and put on my happy face. With any luck the manager won't be there and I can go shopping. I'm just kidding, although I am running low on mascara.
I was going to go in today and introduce myself to the manager so she could put a face with the name on the online application. But then I chickened out. I realized I was afraid to talk to someone about a job that I'm over qualified for. What the??? Too many times over the last few years I have gone to apply for work, only to be told very abruptly to "Go online!" So online I'd go, and then nothing. So, I asked a few people exactly how they scored the ever elusive bagging job at the grocery store, they'd all said the same thing, "Go online! Then come in and introduce yourself." So that's exactly what I decided to do this time, only this time, I was discouraged before even trying. Why you ask? Well it's simple really, I am quite terrified that if I try to be a good candidate for the job and get my hopes up only to not get the job it would crush me. It would crush me because it would say to me, "You aren't even worth minimum wage". And the idea of losing it over something I wouldn't want to do for the rest of my life seems like a waste of effort. I want to save that emotional roller coaster and blow to my self esteem for when I'm rejected by a sorority at the community college I'll no doubt go to in my 40's.
My girlfriend and I spoke about my fears today when she confronted me about chickening out. She knows me too well. She helped me to realize that not only am I an excellent candidate, but that rejection wouldn't kill me. My friend and I talked about the 8 year gap on my resume and she reminded me that I may have not been employed in all these years, but I have been quite busy. She pointed out that I can use my experiences in life as examples in an interview and as tools for the job. After talking with her I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time, I made a face. I put my chin up, my shoulders back (checked out my boobs) and tried my best to look positive and assertive. I admit that I looked more like a cougar on the prowl, but hey, those ladies have some cojones. I told myself, "You can do this." And for the first time in a long time I believed it.
The good news is that without fail, I'm going tomorrow to present my resume and really sell myself. I'm going to do my hair, put on some makeup, spritz some SJP Lovely on my wrists, and put on my happy face. With any luck the manager won't be there and I can go shopping. I'm just kidding, although I am running low on mascara.
Friday, January 28, 2011
What's in a Name
One day I was doodling because I was bored. After running out of ways to make a stick figure look naughty, I started practicing my penmanship. This is something I do when I'm REALLY bored. And I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I practice my penmanship at least once a week. Anyway, when I ran through my ABC's and 123's I started writing my name. Without thinking I wrote down my maiden name, a name that I haven't used or seen in years. Was this a Freudian slip of the hand? And why did it bother me to see it?
I think one of the reasons I was a little disturbed at this subconscious action is that seeing my maiden name reminded me of who I was in maiden form. I was full of life and smiles, I was determined and a go getter, I was then almost everything that I am not now. What had changed? I know that I didn't morph into some pathetic creature the moment I changed my name. Besides, my name changed only 6 years ago. I know you're thinking, "wait a minute, you said you were married for 11 years". You're right! I have been married for 11 years, but I didn't change my name until I was sure I was in it for the long haul. What can I say, I like to be certain of my decisions, even if it takes me a few years and a few kids to make a firm choice.
Now, back to this name business. I stared at what I wrote for a good twenty minutes and just thought and thought of the young lady that held that name. Where the hell did she go anyway? I've been looking for her for at least the last two years. And who left whom? Did the lively girl just run off the moment I said "I do" or did the wife and mother forsake her inner girl? All I do know is it's time we get reacquainted.
How does one "find" herself? I suppose I could leave clues around the house, get drunk and play a lonely creepy game of hide and seek. Or, I could change my name back. Or, I could simply quit whining and start getting back on track with my plans and personal goals in life. I dunno, I kind of like all 3 ideas, especially the drunken game of hide and seek. I might end up in the nut house for that one when I explain that I got drunk trying to find myself, but hey, at least in a nut house I would have my own room, and that's something I haven't had since I was a single maiden.
I think one of the reasons I was a little disturbed at this subconscious action is that seeing my maiden name reminded me of who I was in maiden form. I was full of life and smiles, I was determined and a go getter, I was then almost everything that I am not now. What had changed? I know that I didn't morph into some pathetic creature the moment I changed my name. Besides, my name changed only 6 years ago. I know you're thinking, "wait a minute, you said you were married for 11 years". You're right! I have been married for 11 years, but I didn't change my name until I was sure I was in it for the long haul. What can I say, I like to be certain of my decisions, even if it takes me a few years and a few kids to make a firm choice.
Now, back to this name business. I stared at what I wrote for a good twenty minutes and just thought and thought of the young lady that held that name. Where the hell did she go anyway? I've been looking for her for at least the last two years. And who left whom? Did the lively girl just run off the moment I said "I do" or did the wife and mother forsake her inner girl? All I do know is it's time we get reacquainted.
How does one "find" herself? I suppose I could leave clues around the house, get drunk and play a lonely creepy game of hide and seek. Or, I could change my name back. Or, I could simply quit whining and start getting back on track with my plans and personal goals in life. I dunno, I kind of like all 3 ideas, especially the drunken game of hide and seek. I might end up in the nut house for that one when I explain that I got drunk trying to find myself, but hey, at least in a nut house I would have my own room, and that's something I haven't had since I was a single maiden.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
2012
December 21, 2012 is a buzz topic and has been for the last couple of years. Will the world really come to an end? I'll admit I haven't given it much thought. My brother used to always tell me, "If ignorance is bliss you must be the happiest person in the world". I suppose he was right about that one. I don't really worry about the world ending because if it ends, I'll be dead and won't really care.
The blockbuster hit 2012 starring John Cusack is not what has people talking, but the Mayan Calendar that brings a close to the 5,000 + year cycle. There is more than one Mayan calendar, and although incredibly accurate, the Mayan Long Count Calendar is the only one that points to December 21, 2012 as the end of The Great Cycle. What many don't know is that according to Mayan calendars, the earth has gone through 3 Great Cycles. Why is 2012 different then if we've already made it through 3? What has some concerned is that this is the only Great Cycle that "ends" on winter solstice. Not only that, but on that very night, Earth and the sun will align with the center of The Milky Way galaxy, this has not happened for over 20,000 years. What will happen with this galactic alignment? Not even the greatest scientists know. There is much speculation over the events to follow. Everything from great natural disasters to the coming of Christ has been predicted by apocalyptic and religious fanatics. I think the only fanatical group that isn't afraid are the Scientologists that are eagerly awaiting the return of the mother ship.
Every generation thinks the end is near, and that's because every generation destroys the earth more than the last. The only difference now is that we have a calendar that has been an excellent predictor of what's to come. The Mayan calendars have predicted natural disasters and assassinations of political leaders and wars. So why would the end of the world be the only thing the Mayans got wrong? I don't necessarily think they got it wrong. I think we're reading too much into the hype. We have books and documentaries and movies telling us that the world is ending and how to survive it. Um, how exactly does one survive the end of the world anyway? Doesn't the end of the world mean there would be nothing to survive? Wal-Mart doesn't have enough milk, bread, and batteries to survive an apocalypse. According to the Mayan calendar, the end of a Great Cycle is a cause for celebration since it's a rare occurrence. So stop building a fallout shelter and start planning a party. Even if it is the end of the world wouldn't you rather be living it up instead of shaking in your knickers underground?
The big question is, "Will this be the end of the world?" And as smart as I like to think I am, I haven't got a clue. Lord knows we've had natural disasters big enough to shake even the greatest of skeptics. We've had sink holes swallow up entire neighborhoods, earth quakes that brought down entire countries, and let's not forget global warming. If the universe doesn't take the world down, humans most definitely will. I just don't think it will happen on December 21, 2012. It's too close to Christmas, and that would be a major buzz kill.
The blockbuster hit 2012 starring John Cusack is not what has people talking, but the Mayan Calendar that brings a close to the 5,000 + year cycle. There is more than one Mayan calendar, and although incredibly accurate, the Mayan Long Count Calendar is the only one that points to December 21, 2012 as the end of The Great Cycle. What many don't know is that according to Mayan calendars, the earth has gone through 3 Great Cycles. Why is 2012 different then if we've already made it through 3? What has some concerned is that this is the only Great Cycle that "ends" on winter solstice. Not only that, but on that very night, Earth and the sun will align with the center of The Milky Way galaxy, this has not happened for over 20,000 years. What will happen with this galactic alignment? Not even the greatest scientists know. There is much speculation over the events to follow. Everything from great natural disasters to the coming of Christ has been predicted by apocalyptic and religious fanatics. I think the only fanatical group that isn't afraid are the Scientologists that are eagerly awaiting the return of the mother ship.
Every generation thinks the end is near, and that's because every generation destroys the earth more than the last. The only difference now is that we have a calendar that has been an excellent predictor of what's to come. The Mayan calendars have predicted natural disasters and assassinations of political leaders and wars. So why would the end of the world be the only thing the Mayans got wrong? I don't necessarily think they got it wrong. I think we're reading too much into the hype. We have books and documentaries and movies telling us that the world is ending and how to survive it. Um, how exactly does one survive the end of the world anyway? Doesn't the end of the world mean there would be nothing to survive? Wal-Mart doesn't have enough milk, bread, and batteries to survive an apocalypse. According to the Mayan calendar, the end of a Great Cycle is a cause for celebration since it's a rare occurrence. So stop building a fallout shelter and start planning a party. Even if it is the end of the world wouldn't you rather be living it up instead of shaking in your knickers underground?
The big question is, "Will this be the end of the world?" And as smart as I like to think I am, I haven't got a clue. Lord knows we've had natural disasters big enough to shake even the greatest of skeptics. We've had sink holes swallow up entire neighborhoods, earth quakes that brought down entire countries, and let's not forget global warming. If the universe doesn't take the world down, humans most definitely will. I just don't think it will happen on December 21, 2012. It's too close to Christmas, and that would be a major buzz kill.
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