Saturday, April 2, 2011

Swimsuit Season

                  As I have stated in a previous entry I like the way that I look. I generally have no problem shopping for clothing, however swim suits are another category altogether. I hate shopping for a bathing suit, not because of my size but because of the poor selection. I have been to the mall department stores, the specialty size stores, the general wall-to-wall marts and not one of them had anything that would look good on a slimmer person let alone a full figured chunky dunker.
                  I had decided to give up when I found myself mentally chanting "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry" in the Dillard's dressing room. The prints were ridiculous and the styles were not flattering at all.  Of the few suits that I found tolerable the prices were outrageous! $100 or more for a one piece and all the two pieces were sold as separates for no less than $58 a piece. The one top that I liked was a whopping $68 and when I tried it on there was so much fabric meant to hide the problem area that is the stomach that it had the exact opposite effect making me look pregnant. Then of course the top had to accentuate my assets, i.e. my breasts, by making it appear that they were trying to escape the top and run away from my body. Not flattering at all. The matching bottom (a skirt) had a control top that held my "tummy" firm making my upper "tummy" into a muffin top, hence the preggo look. After I convinced myself not to cry I left the department store with the little confidence I had left.
                 I am not so diluted as to think that a bathing suit with slimming capabilities will instantly make me look like a size 6. But am I asking for too much if I want a bathing suit to simply get on my body without mushing, mashing, popping body parts out, or cutting off circulation for less than $100? I mean really, it doesn't take $100 worth of fabric and labor to cover my body. And then there's the prints. What is with the horrible prints? It was like searching through a collection of Picasso's impressions of bathing suits. Even the small suits for sizes 0-12 were ugly. There were animal prints that apparently were inspired by very ugly animals. Who knew a zebra could be ugly? The inventive abstract suits were no better, horrible colors clashed together, reds, browns, grays, golds, all together in haphazard splats and crisscrossed stripes that made no sense. I felt like screaming, "Are you kidding me!?!?" Instead I just gave up.
           I did some online shopping and found a few suits I like. I am a bit concerned about ordering online. What if it doesn't fit? I'll have to return it and order something else. At least I'll be able to chant "Don't cry" in the comfort of my own home.

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