My sister called me today just because. It was nice, no drama, no complaints, she just wanted to let me know that she's doing well and that she loves me. She asked how I was and I had not a doggone thing to contribute to the conversation that wasn't about one or all of the children. Not one thing! I thought about this and came to the conclusion that when I wasn't paying attention I morphed into one of those moms. You know who I'm talking (err, typing) about. The ones that talk and talk to no end about their kids, or in my case, since I don't like talking about my kids, have nothing to say.
I want to be more than so and so's mother or so and so's wife. I don't think I'm reaching for the stars here, just a little adult chat about life that has nothing to do with my offspring. That's not possible though because they somehow managed to take over my life. I'm not sure when it happened or what they want for ransom, I just know that now, not only am I a slave to them physically, mentally, and any other "ally" ending words you can think of, I'm also a slave to them conversationally.
Since I couldn't find anything interesting to talk about I made an excuse to hang up saying we'd chat later. We played phone tag a few times, each time she'd be busy and each time I'd be struggling with a child of mine, usually my son. She mentioned that she got a job that she loves to do. I said "I haven't worked long enough to discover what I love...I can tell you what I don't love though...diapers, poop, Autism, and anything under three feet tall." I'm pretty sure I'll be adding "adolescence" to that statement.
What sucks is I'm not one those mothers that say "My life was empty until I had a child". Yeah right! And I'm a monkey's uncle! If you're life was empty before you had kids then you have no right to breed. I'd hate to be the kid of one of those parents, I'd hate to have all that pressure of being my mother's only reason for living. At least dads have sports and in my husband's case, video games.
If only I could be one of those women that was fulfilled with family life. But I'm simply not wired that way. I feel like I'm being stuffed into a box that I don't fit into. After getting the kids off to school, I have lists to make, calls to make, bills to pay, errands to run, meals to cook, therapy for my son, and by the end of the day I'm starving for adult interaction. Bill collectors don't even call me anymore because I talk too much. And unfortunately for me, hubby (while he is a good man) is not the sharpest spoon in the drawer. There's not much conversation there.
My sister called me after dinner was done. I was laying on the couch with my son. She said, "What the hell is that?" She was referring to the shriek of laughter made by my daughters. As I was explaining what the noise was my son looked right at me, opened his mouth, and vomited all over me. I screamed "Oh my god! He puked on me!" she replied with a monotone "I'll call you back". She didn't call me back. I called her at 8:30 PM, she was asleep. So much for my adult conversation.