Since I have been looking for work, to no avail, I have realized that there is a big job market for bilingual employees. At first I was overjoyed at this since I am after all Latina. Then I realized that my Spanish, while impressive to my American friends, is not good enough to be worth any money. Sure, I can order food at Don Pedro's, my favorite Mexican place ("por favor, dame un torta sin pincante con mucho aguacate y un soda pina para tomar") and I can keep up with a novela, the Spanish equivalent of an American soap opera. But to help customers with needs would be a challenge. When I worked at a bank and later a credit union, I was able to help "lo gente" with no problem because I'm fine with numbers and money. I think I can speak money in no less than 8 languages. That, and food and bathroom. But I think if someone came in needing help to solve a problem, I'd get lost between "Hola" and "Tu intiendes?".
I have many family members and friends that are fluent that I've reached out to for tutelage, but their lives are as busy an my own. I can't expect them to drop everything to teach me my own language. So, I've decided to teach myself Spanish. I have been using it more and more on a daily basis, lord knows I watch enough novelas, and I recently rediscovered a dusty CD-Rom of beginner Spanish. This is what I've learned so far:
1) I can speak and understand more than I thought
2) novelas are every bit as annoying as American soaps
and lastly,
3) I'm not a beginner, I can introduce my amigo Juan to my amiga Josefina and offer them cafe or chocolate
I have considered taking a class at my local technical school. Unlike a private tutor, I won't have to pay anything upfront. I'm still weighing out the pro's and con's. I know that being bilingual won't automatically land me a job, but it will definitely make my resume more impressive. Besides, it's high time I learned my own damn language.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
It's Been A While
So, I haven't been on for a while. I have been working my butt off. It was a seasonal job, and now that the season is over I am once again looking for employment. One thing I learned about myself during that time is that I am much stronger than I thought. Working doesn't take a lot of strength. Keeping it all together during such a difficult time, now that takes strength. I always knew that I loved working, I guess I forgot just how much. It felt so good to be able to pay bills and get some gifts for my kids' birthdays and Christmas. It felt good providing Christmas dinner. Hell, it felt good putting gas in the car. I am addicted once again. That Latino work ethic has once again kicked in after being dormant for so long.
It has been so long since I have worked (at a paying job) that it took a while to get comfortable. I can see how women that have stayed home to raise their families can find it intimidating and even down right scary when trying to rejoin the work force. I was uneasy for a while, but it did help to have a friend working there. I think God had us reconnect as a way to help me to ease back into working. The funny thing is that as difficult as things are right now, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. It's like, my husband getting laid off was the catalyst that got me going. I was all like "I need change, I want to work, wah wah wah" and God said "Alright already, since you're not going to do anything but whine, here's something to get you going". Did God answer my prayers by making me have to find a job? I don't know, all I do know is that the further away from my comfort zone I go, the more things fall into place. And now, my comfort zone is the last place I want to be, it's no longer that comfortable.
I have new resumes printed up, and I am ready to once again go hunting. Only this time there's a fire under my feet. My husband has decided to finally start looking for work. He was shocked when I said I too was looking. And not just looking, but applying. I said that I am going to find a sitter that can adequately take care of my son and figure out my own way. He needn't worry about anything. Because he usually doesn't, there's no reason for him to pretend to start now. I don't blame him. You see, just as he made me comfortable staying home and being a kept woman, I made him comfortable not having to make any decisions, nor has he had to take any action beyond bringing home the bacon. I have already left my comfort zone, and proved that I'm happy doing so. I honestly don't think he's that strong, that or he's very content in his zone. Either way, I don't care. All I do know and care about is the fact that I'm still going. I don't think I want to tempt God into setting loose another catalyst, nor do I need him to, I am becoming my own.
It has been so long since I have worked (at a paying job) that it took a while to get comfortable. I can see how women that have stayed home to raise their families can find it intimidating and even down right scary when trying to rejoin the work force. I was uneasy for a while, but it did help to have a friend working there. I think God had us reconnect as a way to help me to ease back into working. The funny thing is that as difficult as things are right now, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. It's like, my husband getting laid off was the catalyst that got me going. I was all like "I need change, I want to work, wah wah wah" and God said "Alright already, since you're not going to do anything but whine, here's something to get you going". Did God answer my prayers by making me have to find a job? I don't know, all I do know is that the further away from my comfort zone I go, the more things fall into place. And now, my comfort zone is the last place I want to be, it's no longer that comfortable.
I have new resumes printed up, and I am ready to once again go hunting. Only this time there's a fire under my feet. My husband has decided to finally start looking for work. He was shocked when I said I too was looking. And not just looking, but applying. I said that I am going to find a sitter that can adequately take care of my son and figure out my own way. He needn't worry about anything. Because he usually doesn't, there's no reason for him to pretend to start now. I don't blame him. You see, just as he made me comfortable staying home and being a kept woman, I made him comfortable not having to make any decisions, nor has he had to take any action beyond bringing home the bacon. I have already left my comfort zone, and proved that I'm happy doing so. I honestly don't think he's that strong, that or he's very content in his zone. Either way, I don't care. All I do know and care about is the fact that I'm still going. I don't think I want to tempt God into setting loose another catalyst, nor do I need him to, I am becoming my own.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Keep Moving Forward
I have not had time to write because I have been so busy lately. I have been getting up nearly every morning to go to the gym and work out. You read that correctly, I have been going to the gym almost every single day for the last few weeks. I've been going with the woman I reconnected with on the trip to PCB. I have so far lost 10 lbs. and my energy level is finally growing. I have also been taking more time for myself and let me tell you, there's a rift in the home. The kids are about to revolt against their' father. The poor man really has his work cut out for him. And to that I say "It's about damn time!"
Lately I have been taking more pride in my appearance. I have always been fairly neat and groomed, but I have been wearing makeup a little more frequently and I've been using a hair dryer more often. The other day I was at the mall with one of my besties and in the ladies room mirror I realized I looked like my brother wearing a women's shirt. I decided to have my eyebrows threaded. And let me say the discomfort was well worth it. Now I resemble the fairer sex again and I now have two eyebrows again. I usually down play my looks because as proud as I am, I don't want to drift into conceit which is very easy for a woman to do. So far so good. I am feeling great, looking great, and I'm still kind of nice too!
Oh, and did I mention in two weeks I'm starting a seasonal job? Well I am! I am very happy about it too. It's minimum wage at a sandwich shop, but I'm not above slinging ham for duckets. I would like to be making more, but this will be a great way to get used to working again and it'll be a great way to end the 8 year gap on my resume. Plus I'll be earning money at a time when money is really needed. All three of my children were born in December, so I have Christmas and birthdays all in the same month. Lord knows I need that money. I'm not promising there won't be a revolution in my house, but they are going to have to learn to survive without me always at the helm.
As you have read I have been quite busy lately. I haven't felt this good in years. I hope and pray I keep moving forward and growing along the way. Oh, did I mention that I've also taken up bowling? Another bestie of mine has turned me on to the sport and I have found yet another thing I'm pretty good at. Hopefully in a few months of practice I won't need the bumpers ;p
Lately I have been taking more pride in my appearance. I have always been fairly neat and groomed, but I have been wearing makeup a little more frequently and I've been using a hair dryer more often. The other day I was at the mall with one of my besties and in the ladies room mirror I realized I looked like my brother wearing a women's shirt. I decided to have my eyebrows threaded. And let me say the discomfort was well worth it. Now I resemble the fairer sex again and I now have two eyebrows again. I usually down play my looks because as proud as I am, I don't want to drift into conceit which is very easy for a woman to do. So far so good. I am feeling great, looking great, and I'm still kind of nice too!
Oh, and did I mention in two weeks I'm starting a seasonal job? Well I am! I am very happy about it too. It's minimum wage at a sandwich shop, but I'm not above slinging ham for duckets. I would like to be making more, but this will be a great way to get used to working again and it'll be a great way to end the 8 year gap on my resume. Plus I'll be earning money at a time when money is really needed. All three of my children were born in December, so I have Christmas and birthdays all in the same month. Lord knows I need that money. I'm not promising there won't be a revolution in my house, but they are going to have to learn to survive without me always at the helm.
As you have read I have been quite busy lately. I haven't felt this good in years. I hope and pray I keep moving forward and growing along the way. Oh, did I mention that I've also taken up bowling? Another bestie of mine has turned me on to the sport and I have found yet another thing I'm pretty good at. Hopefully in a few months of practice I won't need the bumpers ;p
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Debt
Let me preface this by saying that we have never (as an absolute term) had this problem before. We have never (as an absolute term) had a car repossessed nor have we ever had to deal with a collection agency before. We have always paid our bills on time. We have never taken out a loan we couldn't afford. We have always worked hard to earn every penny of our income and paid taxes. We were smart and saved in case of an emergency. All that changed over the course of about three years.
About three years ago we wanted to share our blessings with our loved ones. So, we co-signed an auto loan for a family member. Everything was fine for about a year. Then, the payments started coming in later and later. This put stress on our family and damaged our relationships. But we knew that we had financial obligations, and as difficult as it was, we repossessed the vehicle. Upon repossession we came to find out that the vehicle was in need of repairs, the interior was horribly damaged as well as the exterior. In the span of one year, the vehicle was damaged so badly that is lost over $10,000 in value. Still we could not ignore the problem, so we went to the dealership of purchase to discuss our options. Our options were to pay off the loan and scrap the vehicle or trade it in for a new vehicle for ourselves and finance the debt into a new loan. We opted for a new vehicle since we had enough to pay off our existing loan. This was not a happy car shopping trip. But we took our best option. All was fine for a while.
Less than a year later, all overtime was cut. That meant that our income dropped by nearly half. We began running through our savings to keep up with our bills. We were eating less so that our children could eat well. We even fell behind on our mortgage, but never the auto loan. Still we pushed forward. When we realized we could not keep going like that, we called the auto financer to see if they would lower the payments. No one could help us. A multibillion dollar company did not have the power to help one of it's faithful customers. We wrote letters, went in person to the dealership to talk with the financial representatives there, and called almost every day. Yet we were met with the same answer, "Sorry, we can't help you. But you could trade your car in and save about $58 a month".
Over the course of the following and most recent year we knew we could not keep living the way we were. We were late with our bills. Our Autistic son was missing therapy appointments due to lack of money for gas. Our children could not enjoy any of the activities they were used to in the years prior, such as, dance lessons and gymnastics. All because again, we were trying to be good customers and pay our auto loan in full and on time. So, after no one would help us (and yes, I mean would, not could) we decided our only option was to return the vehicle. Calls were made because we wanted to be honorable and return the car ourselves. After all the necessary papers were signed for the voluntary return, the car was returned to the dealership of purchase.
A few short months later, my husband was laid off. That was it, we had no income. The car was auctioned off at a fair price, and please take into consideration that the car was in excellent condition, and the deficit was and is still over $7,000. Immediately following the auction, the collection calls started. "How do you plan on taking care of this bill?" We explained that we are looking for work and as soon as we can we would start pay- "That's not good enough!" is what was so rudely interjected. I said "We were very good customers" only to have "Oh no you weren't!" retorted back at me. I had never been so rudely addressed by someone in what I thought was to be a professional phone call. I know the woman that was so ghastly to me was only doing her job, but if I were a company, I'd be embarrassed to be associated with a firm that would put such a woman on the phone.
I didn't understand. What had we done wrong? I thought we did everything right. We worked, paid taxes, went to church, gave to the church, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy happy children, multiple therapies for our special needs child. Weren't we making the right choice to forego the luxury of a second car in order to keep our home and utilities and adequate nutrition? Didn't we take all the necessary steps by calling, mailing letters, and going in person? Were we not honorable by returning the car instead of forcing a repo man to show up only to play find the car? We did everything right only to be punished for being exactly the kind of consumer a large company wants to keep. But that's not what happened at all. So here I am at 4 AM unable to sleep because I'm playing that horrid conversation with the collection agency's rep, wondering if I should call her and apologize. No, I should not. I may have lost my temper, but I refuse to be bullied.
Let me explain a little bit about my beautiful son. His name is AJ, he will be 5 in December, he does not speak, he is still in diapers, and he does not eat solid food. His baby food costs are over $600 per month. That does not include his soy milk (he is allergic to dairy and all nuts) which he drinks nearly a quart a day. That also does not include his diapers which cost over $100 per month because he has a 5 year old body with a five year old bladder and therefore uses many diapers in a day. The gasoline to take him to therapy is close to $200 per month which was less in the other vehicle because our van doesn't get great gas mileage. AJ is not a burden, he is not a debt, he is my life as are his sisters. My eyes well up with pride as I type these words because I know that I am making the right choice by investing in him and not the debt. And I will not be bullied into thinking otherwise.
I have put my faith and money into a company that refused to do the same for me and my family. I am personally hurt and disappointed in the company. Not only have they dishonored themselves by not helping the very people that made them into a thriving company, but they have chosen to associate themselves with a collection agency that bullied it's way into my life. The auto finance company should be embarrassed to be associated with the collection agency and the collection agency should be ashamed for their rep's behavior.
I know that once my husband and I secure employment and we clear our debts and start to save again we will never give another large company our business ever again. We are a large Latino family and we are spreading the word in our families and communities about large companies like this, not caring one bit. All the sweet talk is out the window once the signatures are on the loan contracts. In our culture, there is no greater form of advertising than word of mouth. As my story, and others like mine, spreads, in the community, online, in our family, the largest growing population will also become the most difficult to do business with. I am sending this letter or story or what ever it is to anyone that will take it. Newspapers, english and spanish, online forums of all sorts, emails to be forwarded to all contacts and their contacts, consumer alert sites, local community bulletins, and anywhere else I can think of.
We will pay our debt, we want to do what is right for our own peace of mind, because that's the kind of people we are. But we will do it when we can, after we pay our utilities, take our son to therapy, take our daughters to karate, and feed our children. We refuse to be slaves to our debts any longer. And again, we will not be bullied anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
***Details:
Vehicle Purchased: Honda Accord
Place of purchase: Gwinnett Place Honda on Satellite Blvd. Duluth GA
Financer: Honda Financial
Collection Agency: Law Offices of Ross Gelfand LLC, Roswell GA
About three years ago we wanted to share our blessings with our loved ones. So, we co-signed an auto loan for a family member. Everything was fine for about a year. Then, the payments started coming in later and later. This put stress on our family and damaged our relationships. But we knew that we had financial obligations, and as difficult as it was, we repossessed the vehicle. Upon repossession we came to find out that the vehicle was in need of repairs, the interior was horribly damaged as well as the exterior. In the span of one year, the vehicle was damaged so badly that is lost over $10,000 in value. Still we could not ignore the problem, so we went to the dealership of purchase to discuss our options. Our options were to pay off the loan and scrap the vehicle or trade it in for a new vehicle for ourselves and finance the debt into a new loan. We opted for a new vehicle since we had enough to pay off our existing loan. This was not a happy car shopping trip. But we took our best option. All was fine for a while.
Less than a year later, all overtime was cut. That meant that our income dropped by nearly half. We began running through our savings to keep up with our bills. We were eating less so that our children could eat well. We even fell behind on our mortgage, but never the auto loan. Still we pushed forward. When we realized we could not keep going like that, we called the auto financer to see if they would lower the payments. No one could help us. A multibillion dollar company did not have the power to help one of it's faithful customers. We wrote letters, went in person to the dealership to talk with the financial representatives there, and called almost every day. Yet we were met with the same answer, "Sorry, we can't help you. But you could trade your car in and save about $58 a month".
Over the course of the following and most recent year we knew we could not keep living the way we were. We were late with our bills. Our Autistic son was missing therapy appointments due to lack of money for gas. Our children could not enjoy any of the activities they were used to in the years prior, such as, dance lessons and gymnastics. All because again, we were trying to be good customers and pay our auto loan in full and on time. So, after no one would help us (and yes, I mean would, not could) we decided our only option was to return the vehicle. Calls were made because we wanted to be honorable and return the car ourselves. After all the necessary papers were signed for the voluntary return, the car was returned to the dealership of purchase.
A few short months later, my husband was laid off. That was it, we had no income. The car was auctioned off at a fair price, and please take into consideration that the car was in excellent condition, and the deficit was and is still over $7,000. Immediately following the auction, the collection calls started. "How do you plan on taking care of this bill?" We explained that we are looking for work and as soon as we can we would start pay- "That's not good enough!" is what was so rudely interjected. I said "We were very good customers" only to have "Oh no you weren't!" retorted back at me. I had never been so rudely addressed by someone in what I thought was to be a professional phone call. I know the woman that was so ghastly to me was only doing her job, but if I were a company, I'd be embarrassed to be associated with a firm that would put such a woman on the phone.
I didn't understand. What had we done wrong? I thought we did everything right. We worked, paid taxes, went to church, gave to the church, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy happy children, multiple therapies for our special needs child. Weren't we making the right choice to forego the luxury of a second car in order to keep our home and utilities and adequate nutrition? Didn't we take all the necessary steps by calling, mailing letters, and going in person? Were we not honorable by returning the car instead of forcing a repo man to show up only to play find the car? We did everything right only to be punished for being exactly the kind of consumer a large company wants to keep. But that's not what happened at all. So here I am at 4 AM unable to sleep because I'm playing that horrid conversation with the collection agency's rep, wondering if I should call her and apologize. No, I should not. I may have lost my temper, but I refuse to be bullied.
Let me explain a little bit about my beautiful son. His name is AJ, he will be 5 in December, he does not speak, he is still in diapers, and he does not eat solid food. His baby food costs are over $600 per month. That does not include his soy milk (he is allergic to dairy and all nuts) which he drinks nearly a quart a day. That also does not include his diapers which cost over $100 per month because he has a 5 year old body with a five year old bladder and therefore uses many diapers in a day. The gasoline to take him to therapy is close to $200 per month which was less in the other vehicle because our van doesn't get great gas mileage. AJ is not a burden, he is not a debt, he is my life as are his sisters. My eyes well up with pride as I type these words because I know that I am making the right choice by investing in him and not the debt. And I will not be bullied into thinking otherwise.
I have put my faith and money into a company that refused to do the same for me and my family. I am personally hurt and disappointed in the company. Not only have they dishonored themselves by not helping the very people that made them into a thriving company, but they have chosen to associate themselves with a collection agency that bullied it's way into my life. The auto finance company should be embarrassed to be associated with the collection agency and the collection agency should be ashamed for their rep's behavior.
I know that once my husband and I secure employment and we clear our debts and start to save again we will never give another large company our business ever again. We are a large Latino family and we are spreading the word in our families and communities about large companies like this, not caring one bit. All the sweet talk is out the window once the signatures are on the loan contracts. In our culture, there is no greater form of advertising than word of mouth. As my story, and others like mine, spreads, in the community, online, in our family, the largest growing population will also become the most difficult to do business with. I am sending this letter or story or what ever it is to anyone that will take it. Newspapers, english and spanish, online forums of all sorts, emails to be forwarded to all contacts and their contacts, consumer alert sites, local community bulletins, and anywhere else I can think of.
We will pay our debt, we want to do what is right for our own peace of mind, because that's the kind of people we are. But we will do it when we can, after we pay our utilities, take our son to therapy, take our daughters to karate, and feed our children. We refuse to be slaves to our debts any longer. And again, we will not be bullied anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
***Details:
Vehicle Purchased: Honda Accord
Place of purchase: Gwinnett Place Honda on Satellite Blvd. Duluth GA
Financer: Honda Financial
Collection Agency: Law Offices of Ross Gelfand LLC, Roswell GA
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Panama City Beach
Last week I went to Panama City Beach Florida. I was invited by a friend of mine whom was invited by her friend whom also invited other friends. There were 8 women total, and I bonded with a few of them. The funniest coincidence is that I had met one of the women prior to the trip, our daughters were friends in summer camp. All in all I had a wonderful time.
On the first night we all went out for seafood, my favorite ocean side pastime. All of us (with the exception of one) are large women. We were cutting up having a good time when a very drunk thin girl approached our table and said "I just wanted to tell you that you are all SO beautiful! You are! It is SO great that you could get out and have a good time! Just fabulous!" She then walked her inebriated self back to her table where her friend was making out with the not so attractive waiter. As she walked away one of the women at our table said "Did she just call us fat???" I lost it right then and there. I was cracking up so hard I had to step outside to collect myself. While outside I was joined by the leader of the group and we started getting to know each other. We were chatting when our drunk table neighbor came outside and started gushing again about how beautiful we were. I said "I know, thanks". She then got a little too close as she tried to grope my very impressive chest. I took a step back and said "Hey hey! I'm Puerto Rican (don't know what that had to do with it) I don't swing that way. Hell, I don't even experiment that way!" She apologized and said she was in town working and without missing a beat the leader of our group said "The strip?" implying that the girl was a hooker. Again, I nearly lost it. The girl took the joke well and began gushing about her high paying job and thankfully her date (whom was 40+ years her senior) showed up to take her home.
There was much more to the trip but I'm too tired to write it all now. There was quite a few stories being told about one another. There was a reveal that one of the women has a phobia of little people (I don't know the PC term) and her friend that exploited that phobia any chance she got. There was talk of relationships and lots of advice being tossed around. Oh, I also got to see a band perform live for the first time ever. There were also tattoos and lots of booze. I had a wonderful time!
On the beach I asked myself the same question I always ask myself at the beach (at any location of ocean) "Why don't I live here???" Seriously? Why don't I live near an ocean? It's the only place that I'm not overwhelmed, happily married, happily mothering, paid enough, never overeating (because it's too hot), very active, and well tanned. I'm glad I got to spend some time near the ocean and meeting new friends. Time to start planning the next visit, or move, whatever ;)
On the first night we all went out for seafood, my favorite ocean side pastime. All of us (with the exception of one) are large women. We were cutting up having a good time when a very drunk thin girl approached our table and said "I just wanted to tell you that you are all SO beautiful! You are! It is SO great that you could get out and have a good time! Just fabulous!" She then walked her inebriated self back to her table where her friend was making out with the not so attractive waiter. As she walked away one of the women at our table said "Did she just call us fat???" I lost it right then and there. I was cracking up so hard I had to step outside to collect myself. While outside I was joined by the leader of the group and we started getting to know each other. We were chatting when our drunk table neighbor came outside and started gushing again about how beautiful we were. I said "I know, thanks". She then got a little too close as she tried to grope my very impressive chest. I took a step back and said "Hey hey! I'm Puerto Rican (don't know what that had to do with it) I don't swing that way. Hell, I don't even experiment that way!" She apologized and said she was in town working and without missing a beat the leader of our group said "The strip?" implying that the girl was a hooker. Again, I nearly lost it. The girl took the joke well and began gushing about her high paying job and thankfully her date (whom was 40+ years her senior) showed up to take her home.
There was much more to the trip but I'm too tired to write it all now. There was quite a few stories being told about one another. There was a reveal that one of the women has a phobia of little people (I don't know the PC term) and her friend that exploited that phobia any chance she got. There was talk of relationships and lots of advice being tossed around. Oh, I also got to see a band perform live for the first time ever. There were also tattoos and lots of booze. I had a wonderful time!
On the beach I asked myself the same question I always ask myself at the beach (at any location of ocean) "Why don't I live here???" Seriously? Why don't I live near an ocean? It's the only place that I'm not overwhelmed, happily married, happily mothering, paid enough, never overeating (because it's too hot), very active, and well tanned. I'm glad I got to spend some time near the ocean and meeting new friends. Time to start planning the next visit, or move, whatever ;)
Monday, August 8, 2011
School's Back In...Halle-freaking-lujah
Today is the first day of school. It is also (incidentally) the first day of my mental recovery. This summer was by far the most difficult summer I've ever had. You see, the past summers I usually had my girls doing some sort of activity. I couldn't do that this summer due to A) lack of funds, B) my son's therapies and C) my treatment plan for my newly diagnosed Psoriatic Arthritis (arthritis coupled with psoriasis). I have been pulled in so many directions I feel like an overstretched Stretch Armstrong toy (if you don't know what that is Google it so you can get my joke).
Now that I have my days free I have some plans. Today is clean up day. If I get one dish cleaned then I will count is as a goal reached. I have much organizing to do since over the last couple of months mountains of papers and unopened mail have piled up all over the house including two overflowing laundry baskets. I can now adjust my budget to not include lunches for the kids since they will eat in school which also means I can finally get a new pair of sneakers. I will need said sneakers since I am setting a goal of losing 30lbs. I have other plans to make for my free time, but for now that's all I can think of. Oh, another goal is to kick the stupid cigarettes. I have cut down from a pack a day to less than half and I hope to be done with them by the end of the week. I will miss my cancerous habit but there is nothing good about it and being able to breathe sounds fun.
The only down side here is that I'm used to taking care of the kids all day, at least one of them. But now my son is in school full time so I have 8 hours to kill each and every day. And while typing that last sentence put a grin on my face, I am one of those moms that is used to chaos. After my children left for school I asked myself "Oh sh*t, who am I going to take care of?" Um, how about me??? There's a thought! I can take care of me for a change. While I have done many things to take care of myself over the last year, I had to stop during the summer. I didn't think getting back into the swing of things would affect me so. I was fine getting up early to get the kids ready for school. But the thought of doing something for myself left me confused. Where do I begin again? What did I do last year? Should I shower first? What if I showered, then cleaned, got dirty, and had to shower again? I'd be wasting water! I can't waste water! No, I must clean first then shower. All these thoughts ran through my head in a nanosecond.
I told the voices in my head to settle down. Don't worry, I'm not crazy. The voices don't tell me to do anything crazy. In fact, the voices usually convince me to do nothing at all. Okay, maybe I'm a little crazy. Maybe the voices in my head are like a residual haunting. I heard the kids yapping all summer long, so the sounds play over and over again in my head. That makes sense right? All I know is, this is the first time I've had complete silence in over 2 months. Ahh...so peaceful. I'm going to finish my coffee and get to cleaning. I won't have to keep an eye on the clock because I know I still have over half the day left, so there will be plenty of time for that shower.
Now that I have my days free I have some plans. Today is clean up day. If I get one dish cleaned then I will count is as a goal reached. I have much organizing to do since over the last couple of months mountains of papers and unopened mail have piled up all over the house including two overflowing laundry baskets. I can now adjust my budget to not include lunches for the kids since they will eat in school which also means I can finally get a new pair of sneakers. I will need said sneakers since I am setting a goal of losing 30lbs. I have other plans to make for my free time, but for now that's all I can think of. Oh, another goal is to kick the stupid cigarettes. I have cut down from a pack a day to less than half and I hope to be done with them by the end of the week. I will miss my cancerous habit but there is nothing good about it and being able to breathe sounds fun.
The only down side here is that I'm used to taking care of the kids all day, at least one of them. But now my son is in school full time so I have 8 hours to kill each and every day. And while typing that last sentence put a grin on my face, I am one of those moms that is used to chaos. After my children left for school I asked myself "Oh sh*t, who am I going to take care of?" Um, how about me??? There's a thought! I can take care of me for a change. While I have done many things to take care of myself over the last year, I had to stop during the summer. I didn't think getting back into the swing of things would affect me so. I was fine getting up early to get the kids ready for school. But the thought of doing something for myself left me confused. Where do I begin again? What did I do last year? Should I shower first? What if I showered, then cleaned, got dirty, and had to shower again? I'd be wasting water! I can't waste water! No, I must clean first then shower. All these thoughts ran through my head in a nanosecond.
I told the voices in my head to settle down. Don't worry, I'm not crazy. The voices don't tell me to do anything crazy. In fact, the voices usually convince me to do nothing at all. Okay, maybe I'm a little crazy. Maybe the voices in my head are like a residual haunting. I heard the kids yapping all summer long, so the sounds play over and over again in my head. That makes sense right? All I know is, this is the first time I've had complete silence in over 2 months. Ahh...so peaceful. I'm going to finish my coffee and get to cleaning. I won't have to keep an eye on the clock because I know I still have over half the day left, so there will be plenty of time for that shower.
Friday, June 17, 2011
OMG
The other day I was out with Mom running some errands. I asked if she could tag along to help me with my little tribe. The grocery store was our final destination before returning home and all was going very well. The kids were behaving, I was within my preferred time frame and within my budget. We were at the checkout and my son was in a very good mood. As I have stated before my son is autistic, he does not speak but he's very vocal. If he's in a good mood he'll let out these high pitched squeals of joy, which is exactly what he was doing at the time. So he let out this ear piercing shriek of joy and a lady at the next checkout says "Oh my God" with the nastiest tone and was sneering at my son like he just took a dump on the floor. I have gotten these comments and looks before at my son's volume and am used to handling them, but my mother has not. Before I could say anything she was all over the lady. "Oh my God??? Oh my God??? Well let me tell you something Ms. Oh my God! If you cannot take the outside world and the people in it then you shouldn't leave your house! Okay Ms. Oh my God!?!" I then tried to get my mother's attention, "Ma! Ma! Ma!!! Stop it you're scaring the white people! Hey lady, he's happy." My mother then interrupted me "That's right! He's happy!!!" Me-"Ma! I'm sorry lady, but the special needs Wal Mart was closed so I had to do my shopping here." The lady and her husband became very focused on the challenging task of loading their groceries into their cart and seemed incapable of lifting their eyes above the shopping bags it contained. I do believe they were ashamed, her of her thoughtless exclamation and him because he's married to her. Have I mentioned how much I love my mother?
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